Our whole trip so far has been amazing and I think a huge part of this is the amount of time we have been able to spend with family and the things we’ve been able to experience together. Each day is so significant I wish I could put it all into words.
Our family have been so welcoming, having us in their homes, and taking us around to so many fantastic places, THANK YOU to all of you! Getting to know everybody has been so lovely and we’re going to miss everyone for the next six months of our trip (until we return to visit again in the summer).
Mikayla and I have only just met most of our family and, though we’re not surprised by how amazing they are, we really do appreciate the support and warmth we’ve had from them. We also love the special, different, interesting and beautiful people they are.
Now that we have met all these wonderful people we won’t be able to stay away. We’ve already decided that when we are back living in Australia a yearly trip back to the UK will be a major priority.
We’ve been so lucky to have spent our whole lives with our Nan. She has lived with us, her house connected to ours, since before I was born. We are so lucky to have had her there, helping raise us while growing up and then being able to care for her, as we all get older. But more about Nan will come in another post!
We have also been privileged to know her better than anyone else and learn the history of the family from her point of view. Through Mum and Nan we feel like we know our Granddad, though sadly we never got to meet him. We always say that we live a charmed life and that when great things happen, and they happen often, it’s Granddad looking after us.
The other day we felt especially close to him when we visited the Herne Bay Football Club, where Granddad played and then managed, until he immigrated to Australia with Nan, Mum and her two sisters in 1969. Mum visited, for the first time since she was nine, in 2012 and had a great time, they even got a shirt out for her to wear for a photo and sent her home with a pennant for Mikayla.
This time we visited on game day, although unfortunately they haven’t played for about eight weeks because of the soggy pitch. A coach was around to let us in to the clubrooms and on the wall was Granddad (Ronald Benge) in the 1955-56 season team photo. Very handsome indeed!
Since 2012 they have put up even more photos in another small room, Granddad was in two more 1960-61 and 1965-66 as a manager, I wonder where all the other years went! Quite emotional really, to think Granddad was such a big part of the club, they even have an article about Granddad leaving for Australia that they’re going to send us!
While we were looking at these photos another man came in and we told him who we were, he then said, “Oh yeah, I knew Ronnie Benge!” Apparently this man doesn’t come to the club very often unless there’s a match so the chances of us meeting him would usually be slim. He said Granddad was larger than life and like Malcolm Allison, a huge compliment according to cousin John. He also said he remembers he always wore his sheep skin coat, a defining feature it seems!
After this Mum and John took us on a tour of her childhood, once again reconnaissance was done in 2012. First was the house where Mum was born, number one or two (Mum can’t remember), Osbourne Gardens, Beltinge. Then the last house Mum lived in before moving to Australia on Bewsbury Crescent, Whitfield, disappointing because of its upkeep.
Also in Whitfield was the white house at the end of Nursery Lane where Mum’s Nanny Violet and Pappy Alf lived, and where Nan and Granddad set up a hair salon for Aunty Pam. The tiny church in Whitfield was where Nanny Violet used to take Mum for Sunday school, I can just imagine her skipping along chatting away and asking lots of questions.
Last but not least was a drive through Ashley to see The Butcher’s Arms, now a private residence Old Butchers Arms/Ashley House, the pub that Nan and Granddad owned and ran. One cold rainy day when mum was about three Nan let a local man called Alf Potts into the pub before opening. She left to make him coffee then suddenly heard a commotion and returned to find Mum standing on the bar throwing darts at poor Alf. Mum thinks this is about the time when Nan sent her off to a convent to start school!
Family is so very important and so is the history that comes with it. The people, who made the ones we know who they are, are so important too. We are loving hearing all about our ancestors and extended family from those that knew them.
From our Aunty Babs, who is now eighty nine, we have heard about Nan, Granddad, Aunty Di, Aunty Pam and Uncle Harry. That Nan was the beautiful one and the fashion icon. She looks up to her and misses her dearly as they now live on opposite sides of the world.
From our Uncle Don, who is now ninety two, we have heard about our Aunty Irene, Nan and Mums Nanny Violet and Pappy Alf. During our time in Devon we got to visit Uncle Don and his wife Terry a few times. We went through old photos of Nan, Babs, Irene, Violet, and Alf. And childhood photos of our English family, some of whom we have only just met, Maggy, Ian, Paul, John, Don, Mum, Aunty Di and Aunty Pam. So special to us.
This time has really emphasized to us just how special it is to be able to get to know family members that we weren’t around to meet before they left this world. And we love listening to stories about everyone when they were little.
This all also reinforces what we already know, that talking about family and asking questions is so important. We treasure our Nan, and all the people in our lives, and with them comes an immense knowledge of worlds we could not possibly know without them telling us.
Listen to stories and ask questions because there are some things that you will only learn from the people in your life and when they aren’t around anymore this information will go with them. Don’t let your history get lost!
Ask to see photo albums. Ask who are the people in the black and white pictures hanging on the wall. Ask to see home videos, or even a super 8 cinifilm! And write it all down, you won’t want to forget it!
For that matter, why not think about what you can leave behind for your loved ones? What can you keep and collect that they might be interested in? What can you tell them? What do you want them to remember?
Record your life for the ones that aren’t lucky enough to witness it themselves.
Photos of family can be found on our facebook page in the album FAMILY and photos of our trip in Herne Bay and the tour of Mums childhood can be found in the album KENT!
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